John Paul Docherty and the Mucky Mag Part Two

John Paul's plan seems to be working, but disaster is always just around the corner.

Transcript

Part Two.

The park shelter was a concrete horror, there was nowhere to sit, the roof leaked and a bitterly cold wind swept through the park on its way from the Russian Stepps to freeze the fingers of the shipyard workers on the River Tyne. 

John Paul shouted to his two friends.

 “Shifty, Robbo come over here and see what I‘ve found.” John Paul had known Shifty and Robbo since the first year at Sacred Heart Primary united them in their hatred of Nuns and maths. They were the mortal enemies of the Park Keeper and a pain in the backsides of their Mothers.

The three pals sat down on the rubbish-strewn floor of the shelter. John Paul pushed his shirt up and pulled out the magazine. 

“Look, have you ever seen anything like this in your life? They each gasped as every page was turned, they pointed but mostly they just gorped at the pictures of the naked young woman. 

Shifty took his one good eye off the page and turned to John Paul and said “I’ll buy it off you. How much?”

It was not always possible to know where Shifty was looking after he lost one eye in a bike accident three years ago as his glass eye had the habit of not moving when the other one was looking elsewhere. 

Robbo quickly followed up with a “No me, I’ll buy it.” Robbo was the adopted son of Mr and Mrs Robinson. Mr Robinson was the church organist at St Robert's and Mrs Robinson was Chairwoman of the Catholic Women's Guild. 

They were unctuously pious people who would like to remind everyone that their son was adopted. Usually followed by a “He came from a bad home.” Much to Robbo’s embarrassment. 

“Nobodies buying it, at least not yet.” John Paul took out the scissors and started to cut out one of the pictures.

“He held it up and said. “One picture, one penny. Here’s how it’s gonna work and its how we are going to make a fortune.”

“We cut up the magazine, we take the pictures to school and we sell them. I give you ten pictures, you pay me eight pence and when you sell ten for a penny each you make two pence.”

“Five pennies for Ten” Shifty said

“seven” John Paul held out his hand.

“Six,” said Robbo. The other two looked at him “Shut up Robbo or you’ll not get any.” John Paul snapped back. Robbo was going to say something but decided to keep quiet instead. 

It took them nearly an hour of argument to cut up the magazine. As there were often pictures on both sides of the page, it was a tough call to know which would be the best choice. In the end, they had nearly a hundred pictures to sell.

“Here’s the plan. I take them to school and hide them somewhere and you get ten pictures each. When you sell your ten you come and see me and give me the seven pence and I’ll give you another ten. We’ll have to be careful, if the teachers or the Prefects find out we’ll be in big trouble. Just tell whoever you sell to if they get caught say they found them, if anyone grasses us up then they dont get any more. Understand?

“Yes, John Paul.” Shifty and Robbo said in unison.

The next day John Paul was up ready for school early. “Morning John Paul,” his Mother said as he appeared in the kitchen. She looked up at the kitchen clock and said “What’s up” She knew her sons well enough to know if John Paul was up early then John Paul was up to something. Usually, it meant he was up to no good. 

“I’ve made porridge for your breakfast. Sit down” Sheelagh Docherty stared at her son and could see in an instant that whatever it was it fell into the “no good” category. 

“Sport is it? Today?”

John Paul looked at his shoes. “No Ma” he said in a barely audible voice.

His Mother lunged forward and grabbed his ear and pulled him up out of his seat.

“Ma, you're hurting 'em.” he gasped out.

“What are you up to, ya little bastard? Tell me now!” she pulled even harder on his ear.

“Nowt, let go Ma”

“I know you, John Paul, you are up to one of your old tricks. Tell me now because if you don’t and I find out later and you be sure I will find out” She gave him another one of her stares. John Paul felt his face flush.

“Nowt Ma, I swear.”

His mother relaxed her grip and he dropped back onto his chair. “Eat your porridge and get off to school and John Paul” He looked up at his Mother. 

“Yes Ma”

“I’m watching you.” she reached over to the kitchen sink pulled out a wooden spoon from the washing-up bowl and waved it in front of him. “We are watching you.”

John Paul couldn’t finish his porridge quick enough. His stomach was in knots, his legs shook and his face was so hot it felt like his hair was on fire. 

He jumped up from the table grabbed his school haversack and its precious cargo and without looking back he headed for the kitchen door and out into the back lane.

Shifty and Robbo were already waiting for him at the end of the lane. “OK, lads everything sweet.”

“Did your Ma say anything?” Shifty asked

“Na, she didn’t suspect a thing.” 

The other two smiled a not-very-convincing smile.

“My Ma asked me what I was up to and why I was ready for school before she had called me at least three times,” Robbo said as he looked around the empty street to make sure his Ma wasn’t watching from behind a lamppost.

“Look Robbo” John Paul said as he grabbed the lapels of Robbo’s jacket.”Say a word to anyone and I’ll have your guts for garters.” John Paul had no idea what garters were or how you made them out of people's guts but that’s what his Dad always said to him and his brothers when he thought they were up to no good. So, he knew it was some sort of terrible threat.

St Cuthbert’s Grammar School was at the end of a long drive. On one side was a an old victorian manor house that was home to the Priests who staffed most of the school and next to it were the two long corridors of classrooms that made up the main school. At the far end was the hall that overlooked the school playing field and the schoolyard that had been the scene of John Paul’s day of shame.

Ever since a first-year boy had upended him as he tried to get his dinner money he had experienced problems with his protection racket. Groups of first-year boys now gathered in packs for self-protection and if John Paul attempted to approach anyone the others quickly gathered and told him to get lost. The local youth club karate class had never been as busy. That’s why his new venture was so important not only would it make him some money but might go some way to restoring his battered reputation.

The three Bandidos went into the cloakroom and John Paul handed over the first batch of pictures to his two compatriots. “Stick with the older boys but don’t let the Prefects see you. Cash upfront only. No credit. Understand?

Yes, John Paul” Shifty and Robbo said in unison. They hurried out into the schoolyard and within minutes returned. “Selling like hot cakes one lad took five,” Shifty said. 

“You not coming out into the yard?” Robbo asked.

“I’m guarding the pictures, now piss off the two of you.” John Paul smiled to himself. 

“ They take all the risk I get all the reward.” he said to no-one.

 As the school bell rang to herald the start of morning prays John Paul pocket rattled with coins and his haverstack was empty of pictures. 

“OK, you two we meet up in the park tonight and then we discuss our next step. OK?” with that the three purveyors of pornography made their way into the main hall to say a prayer to thank God and the Baby Jesus for a very profitable morning's work.

The news of the pictures had spread quickly and all during dinner time Shifty and Robbo were besieged by eager pubescent teenagers begging for pictures themselves. Those lucky enough to have bought them in the morning were now selling them on for a much higher price and by the time they went home some of the more provocative and revealing images were selling for a shilling. 

“We need more magazines and we need them fast.” John Paul told his two partners in the filthy pictures business, as they sat on the park shelter floor.

 “Let’s put all the money we made and buy more mags,” John Paul put out his hand as Shifty and Robbo handed over their hard-earned cash.

“We made a total of eight shillings and a Penthouse costs five. So we can get one more for that.” said Shifty 

“Great idea Shifty” said John Paul. “Exactly what I was thinking”

“The newsagents won’t sell Penthouse to kids and even if they did the Ma’s would know about it before we left the shop,” Robbo added

John Paul and Shifty looked at each other. The smiles on their faces and the thoughts of easy cash disappeared into a mist of problems and disappointment. 

The three of them sat staring at the broken swings and the burnt out slide until John Paul suddenly jumped up.

“I’ve got it.” His crest-fallen face now sported a wide grin. 

“We could steal them,” Robbo said

“That’s a stupid idea.” John Paul spat back. "We’d get caught.”

 “Na, we won’t. The shops always packed on a Saturday, kids buying sweets, Dad’s getting the Football Pink and Granda’s after the Racing Post.” Robbo continued.

“If we create a distraction of some sort. We could get away with it.” Shifty said

“I have an idea. John Paul. “Let’s just nick them, me and Shifty will start a fight between us and as Mr Parker tries to stop us Robbo grabs a couple of mags.”

Shifty and Robbo looked at each other. That’s what we said.” said Robbo

“Ya, well you have given me the bare bones of an idea and I made a plan so that’s down to me.” Shifty and Robbo both shrugged.

“This Saturday then? “ said John Paul

“This Saturday then.” Said Shifty and Robbo.

John Paul could hardly sleep that night. He now would have at least one, hopefully, two, brand new Penthouse Magazines unblemished from kitchen waste and his Father’s sugarless tea to sell plus that would be another eight maybe sixteen shillings. “No”, he suddenly thought. “I’ll double the price to 2p. That would be one pound and twelve shillings.” They would be rich. They could go to the pictures and get ice cream or maybe even visit the new bowling alley. He could ask Mary McIntyre to go to the Italian ice cream parlour or maybe take her to the pictures and in the dark maybe just maybe steal a kiss and another furtive investigation of her school cardigan. Life was suddenly all possibilities. 

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